Welcome to the world of parenting!
Here at phil&teds®, we know parenting is a wild ride, & sometimes, survival comes down to timing, adaptability, and a well-placed dad joke.
So, if you’re a mum, a dad, or just someone who appreciates a perfectly bad pun, consider this your starter pack. Below are 10 new (or not-so-new) dad jokes to casually drop into daily conversation.
Use responsibly. Eye rolls are part of the experience.
So, a true dad joke starts with the delivery (as you’re not a dad until the baby is delivered!). The key to delivering a high-quality dad joke is the long pause, with a goofy expectant look on your face, or repeatedly saying “geddit, geddit, geddit?!” afterwards. You know you have truly nailed it when you yourself are on the ground laughing... Your audience probably won't be doing the same - they will be so overwhelmed by the glorious nature of the joke that they won't be able to outwardly express it. Their reaction will probably look something like this, this means you have truly won. They are so truly impressed with how funny you are they can barely move - congratulations!
Here are 10 dad jokes to get you started:
- Why is honey good for you? - It's full of Bee vitamins.
- Why does it take a pirate so long to learn the alphabet? - Because he spends years at C! (This one will really throw them as they will generally say R, it’s the elusive double joke!
- Did you hear about the lion that ate his friends? - He had to swallow his pride.
- What do you call someone with no body or nose? - Nobody nose.
- Here is a classic: I’ll call you later - “Don't call me later, call me dad” - this will get them every time!
- What do you call a pony with a sore throat? - A little horse.
- I can’t help it, I like telling dad jokes. - Sometimes he laughs.
- Why can no man starve in the Great Desert of Sahara? - Because of the sand-which-is there. - ba dum tissss
- What do you call a carnivorous weather person? - A meat-eater-ologist
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? - A fsssssssh
And one last one for good luck…
Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? - There was nothing left but de Brie!
Go forth hilarious parents and make the world groan!
